Tuesday, November 18, 2008


I have a question.

Why is it when Tiger Woods wipes the golf course with the hapless buttocks of every other competitor, it's just a massive he-man feat of sweet beautiful domination, all hail Tiger, bronze that next Sports Illustrated cover, heck bronze HIM, bronze Augusta, bronze his entire hometown and the pizza joint he ate at as a kid, let's all uniformly declare a national moment televised by CNN to Genuflect to the great Tiger Woods and only hope his next Nike commercial is as good as the last one, but when Jimmie Johnson dominates the very challenging and highly competitive NASCAR circuit to astoundingly win back-to-back-to-back Championships, the press says it's all so boring, can you feel the air rushing out of the NASCAR balloon, the thrill is gone, there's more drama in a second-rate afterschool special, NASCAR management should all be lined up and marched to the woodshed, Fargo-style...after they change all the rules because how can anyone win three in a row, this is America what kind of sport is this?

Can anyone answer that? Can someone help me understand this?

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